Ok some stuff has happened to you in the past and you are now feeling really unhappy about what has happened. Now this could be many things like an accident, loss of a loved one, loss of something or just plain things have not turned out how you dreamt it to be. And Yes some things are very painful. That is OK! and guess what you have the ultimate power inside you to come out of this, only you do. The most important thing that you need to realise right now is that there is no one including you that can change the past. It has happened and there is nothing you can do about it. 'Oh no but it is the other persons fault that this has happened, I told you so! If you didn't do that it would not have happened!', 'You are a bad person, to have done that to me! It is you'. In thinking this all you are doing is that you are trying to make yourself feel better in making yourself to be the victim and the other person to be the guilty one. Does it actually fix the problem? It is still making you unhappy and in doing this you are spreading this unhappiness to the other persons as well. Does it change what has happened to you? Does not matter who's fault it is you cant change it. Think this through carefully, you are very intelligent, truly realise that you cannot change what has happened. When you come to this realisation, you will automatically make this past experience become a friend instead of a foe. Become comfortable with it. Accept it fully.

If you have come to this realisation then you should feel lighter immediately. That's fine if you don't, just be gentle with yourself.